You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
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So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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