There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize