I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
