Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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