Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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