Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
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