Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
