he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
