but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
