question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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