Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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