On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
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