when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
two words...techno handjob
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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