Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
