is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
