So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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