They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
