i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
