grandma shit on top of the toilet
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
