you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.