Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
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