I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
