Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
