I wish my penis had an off switch
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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