stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize