Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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