if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
