I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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