I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
you made out with another girl for some wings
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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