Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
