Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
