I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I can't put those talents on a resume
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
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