but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
