oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
