Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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