is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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