she was so not down for the gang bang
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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