We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
