My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
