I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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