he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You made out with two different species that night
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize