It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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