the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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