Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
