I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I think a kid would responsible me up
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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