the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
