This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
