come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
