nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
