Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
