you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
