i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize