I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
