Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
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