finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
