I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
