do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
